10/06/2012

Wide Awake....

...But missing the details.

Do you ever feel like you're as alert and as competent as you're ever going to be, and yet mistakes continue to be made because details are missed?

That's the place where it seems my brain has made itself at home these days.

Getting into the routine of a new school year, starting up the kids activities such as hockey and ballet, evening church commitments 2x a week PLUS learning an incredibly stressful and always changing new job seems to leave me feeling stuck in a permanent state of the 'blonde moment.'

I'm missing the details as I struggle to balance it all.

That's when the insecurity starts to take hold.

What do they think of me? How could I miss that thing that was right in front of me? Why did I have to ask the same question for the 500th time at work? Do the other mom's think I'm lazy for not being more involved with volunteering at school? And so on....

It's a difficult place to be.

I want to feel confident, smart, and respected. It's hard when I feel none of those things.

I do understand that my self perception may be skewed but it still doesn't change what I feel inside.

It's today's truth about me and where I'm at.